3 Steps to a More Confident You

I remember the first time I had to speak in public.

I was in 3rd grade and had a part in the school play. It was only two lines and I practiced day and night until the dreaded day came. All the parents were there along with my classmates and friends.

And then it happened…I forgot my lines. I nervously made something up. I was devastated. Everyone was talking about how I had ruined the play. Or so I thought. Oh I was teased and made fun of for what seemed like an eternity.

I was hardest on myself. Aren’t we all? My worst fear realized. But thinking back on it now. It set me free.

I had faced my fear. I didn’t die. I doubt anyone else remembers the humiliation of that fateful day but me. I was no longer afraid. It had happened I survived and the fear of public speaking left me. Not at once...but it was gone.

Confidence can be defined as a self-assuredness, a sense of trust in oneself. A sense of calm in a storm. Confident people inspire confidence in others. It is associated with authority and success. Sometimes you have to fake it till you make it. Sadly, it is our own negative self-talk that often erodes our self-confidence. Learning how to break those patterns and replace your self-defeating thought patterns with a positive mindset can be a challenge.

Think of someone you know who is self-confident. How do they act? How do they speak? How do they walk?

Confidence is a way of interacting with the world that conveys a sense of security and purpose. When you speak do you speak with authority? Do you know what your purpose is? My father had a saying “Are you asking or telling?” People with self-confidence can do both and do so in a way that those around them are willing to do whatever they ask. They are good leaders.

Confident people do what they believe is right without second-guessing themselves. Confident people are not threatened. Confident people know how to listen to others. They keep a positive attitude when questioned or criticized. Confident people are willing to make a decision yet admit when they are wrong.

Practice acting with confidence and learn to face your fears.

Pay attention to negative self talk and replace negative statements with positive ones. Learn from your mistakes and don’t dwell on them. Every experience is an opportunity for growth. Don’t let a lack of self confidence hold you back from success. Sometimes you have to fake it till you make it. You don’t have to do it alone. How can I help you?